This is a poem I wrote for a girl a long time ago. I’m curious what people would think of it. I would appreciate some constructive criticism.
Her lips are the poison to my weakness but how could I resist
Because it’s so hard falling asleep and thinking about this
Her aqua blue eyes that stare back at me
She’s the beautifulest woman and she’s all that I need.
I feel my heart is sinking into the darkest ocean
My love for her is like an atomic explosion
And when she speaks from these lips of poison
I smile with glee and I’m just frozen.
If you like poetry such as this, please comment and let me know. I write plenty of poetry with this voice.